thought provoking

Recently I was blog-surfing, and came across an atheist who was searching out why people believe what they do. 91 people had responded to her post explaining what they believed, or why they didn't believe anything. It was all very interesting to read, and got me thinking about why it is that I believe. I think it boils down to experience.

Some people argue that religion is our way of coping with the experience of our lives. Though mind you, I think that religion and faith are two extremely different things. There are some things I do that are religious, such as observing advent, and then there are things I do which can be viewed as religious and also as personal faith, such as holy communion. I think the practice of religious things is not the avenue to salvation, but instead a symbolic reminder of things I believe. It's a physical way to remind myself of the spiritual truths I believe. A way to focus my mind which is so easily distracted in this super-stimulated society.

For example, let me unpack my thoughts about holy communion. Outwardly this is a very religious practice, and extremely symbolic. However, for me, inwardly, it's reminder that Christ's Spirit lives in me, and desires to work through me, if I will submit to Him and follow. In my everyday life, it's pretty easy to forget that I have the privilege of having the Comforter with me in all situations. It's easy to treat my body as if there was no holy purpose to be fulfilled. Holy communion is a way to re-focus my thoughts to the communion I can enjoy everyday with His Spirit.

My experience in life has shown me that God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit are a reality at work in my world. They are at work, regardless of whether I choose to acknowledge them. For a long time I really struggled with reconciling the actions of church members to the teachings they supposedly followed. If people were following Christ, why did they act the way they did? If Christ's power was unlimited and mighty to change us, why weren't they better people? All the while I was struggling with this, He was at work in me, showing me my own role in the struggle. Here's what I learned. God wants a relationship with me. That statement in itself totally baffles me some days. I'm so amazed that the Creator desires to know me, and to show Himself to me. Me, of all people, of all things.

So here's the thing, He wants a relationship with me, not just obedience. A relationship takes effort on my part. It's not just a matter of me calling myself a Christian, and then He transforms my behavior to be saintly. It takes effort on my part to choose that behavior, but beyond that and more importantly, to choose the relationship everyday. This was what had been confusing me for so long. I was disappointed with all these "Christians" I knew because they weren't exhibiting the behavior that I thought should be evidence of their faith. The truth of the matter is that God does not magically change our behavior. Why? because He doesn't just want obedience. He wants relationship. If He wanted obedience, He could very easily get it by simply increasing the consequences of disobedience. Lightning bolts come to mind. So the effort is not solely with Him. It is not up to Him entirely to change us. It is up to us to choose to change. This is what creates the relationship. It's the development of change in our lives.

I think of my relationship with Joseph as an analogy to help explain my relationship with the Father. One of things that is so deeply satisfying about our relationship is to know that we've come through something together; that we have history together. That he is different for knowing me, and I'm different for knowing him. It gives a confidence for facing the future. It emboldens me to believe that we can make it through any other struggle in our lives, because we have made it through struggles in the past. And this is the part that is so deliciously ironic... if there were no struggles, no arguments, no personality flaws, the journey would be dull. There'd be no excitement to our marriage. This relationship is not made better by constant perfection. The joy of relationship is being witness to growth - in ourselves, and in the other person. If Joseph and I never argued, and everything was Norman Rockwell perfect every single day, we'd be bored out of our minds. What happens when you're bored? you look for other passions to excite you and make you feel alive. So the struggle is as necessary to the relationship as the times of happiness.

Just like my relationship with Joseph, I feel a confidence, a belief, in my relationship with God. I know that He will be there to face struggles in the future, because I can see that He's been there in the past. I can see areas in my life that I'm different in because I know Him. I'm not talking about the rules of religion here - no drinking, smoking, drugs, etc. I'm talking about the aspects of my personality that are becoming more like Him becase we're in relationship together. Does that mean that I act like Him completely? Wow. No. In fact there are probably some days where a person would doubt my beliefs based on my actions. Those are the struggles. However, He's committed to "struggling" it out with me. Just like my relationship with Joseph, I choose to change, to follow Him, because I love Him, and His happiness is important to me. My experience in this relationship with God is what produces my continued faith in Him. I have found His claims, His promises to be true, and it incites me to follow further, go deeper. He has promised to be found by any who would seek Him. I know that it's true, because He reveals Himself to even me. And I love the way He chooses to reveal Himself - ever creative, and always with a fresh wind. He truly is the Creator.

"You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13

I wish you joy in your journey of seeking.

Hope for the forecast

You know what that icon means? "Chance of Snow". Know when it's supposed to happen? Yep, on Thanksgiving! Here. In Lubbock! I couldn't be more hopeful for a great Thanksgiving. Wait, it gets better...

It was followed on Friday with this graphic - "Icy". Isn't it pretty?! I'm so pumped that we'll have a high of 36 for this weekend. Just can't wait. You have to admit, it's a little difficult to get motivated for Christmas decorating when it's 82 outside.
Of course, who knows if we'll be here in good old LBK to enjoy it... good chance we'll be in Tulsa, OK, where it will be a balmy 47. I'm holding out hope that it will get colder there too. Shh! Don't tell Joseph. :)

Ok, why am I so obsessed with the weather? I blame it on my experience as a secretary in a psychologist's office where there's only so much you can chat about with patients.

Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!

thoughts

Some days I feel like I get absolutely nothing done. Seems like I'm up from my desk every 20 minutes to find out what Winston is chewing on now, or to let him outside, or to walk him. This must be how new mothers feel: that all you do is wash laundry, feed the baby, and change diapers. Gotta tell ya, I'm not liking it. Sure, he's a cute dog, but some days I wish I could finally get my day back and be able to get something done. Well, I suppose that's not going to happen... maybe when I turn 50.

These boots were made for walking...

Cuz it certainly ain't dancing! Had my cowboy boots on last night, and did actually attempt to dance. It could be argued whether it was actually dancing. Joe and I decided to be young and crazy last night, and went over to the Wild West club here in Lubbock with some of his friends from school. We actually didn't even leave the house until 11pm to go "out". I think it means I'm officially an old fart when I think 11pm is too late to be leaving the house for the evening's entertainment. Got home around 1:30. I'll tell you who doesn't feel "young and crazy" this morning... me! that's who. Geeze, where's the coffee already?!

So, we're at this club, and let me tell ya, I think I was the oldest one there, aside from the club security team. However, it was a lot of fun, and I kinda want to do it again, just maybe with more adults and less college kids. It's a country club, so immediately when you walk in, the dance floor is packed with couples two-stepping, twirling, and everyone has on boots, and a lot of guys have on a hat. You've never seen so many rhinestone belts in one room. Joe and I took a few minutes to assess the situation, and generally chuckle at some really entertaining characters. After a while, I looked up at him and said, "do you think we could do that?" He looked at me kinda funny, and said that he thought we could probably fudge it since it appeared so many others were. Now you have to understand that in Texas, there's really only one dance step that is done for any song played... and that would be the Texas Two-Step. Doesn't matter if the song is fast or slow really. As long as it's country, then it's the two-step. The great thing is, it just keeps repeating, and the whole crowd moves in a general circle, around and around. So, we stepped out. And, turns out, it's really fun, well, except for the pain in your hip from your muscle cramping due to the quick, quick, slow stepping. I'll just have to work on that.

Once again, I realize how blessed I am to have Joe for a husband. Among the list of his other great qualities, he's a good dancer too. I'm learning that I have previously way over-estimated my own dancing skill. He gets out there, and just glides around, and then also manages to look like he's not even working hard at it, and actually looks really charming. What a man! He's that guy that every woman wishes would dance with her because he holds you exactly right, leads where you should go, and then effortlessly flirts with you the whole time he's navigating the dance floor in the middle of a hundred other people. Yep, he's mine. Wow.

Well, I don't have any pics from last night, but I do have a picture of my first dancing performance, which I think you might enjoy. I'm the swan with the big bandages on her knees under her white tights, because my graceful self spilled it the night before in the driveway before my big dance recital.