thought provoking

Recently I was blog-surfing, and came across an atheist who was searching out why people believe what they do. 91 people had responded to her post explaining what they believed, or why they didn't believe anything. It was all very interesting to read, and got me thinking about why it is that I believe. I think it boils down to experience.

Some people argue that religion is our way of coping with the experience of our lives. Though mind you, I think that religion and faith are two extremely different things. There are some things I do that are religious, such as observing advent, and then there are things I do which can be viewed as religious and also as personal faith, such as holy communion. I think the practice of religious things is not the avenue to salvation, but instead a symbolic reminder of things I believe. It's a physical way to remind myself of the spiritual truths I believe. A way to focus my mind which is so easily distracted in this super-stimulated society.

For example, let me unpack my thoughts about holy communion. Outwardly this is a very religious practice, and extremely symbolic. However, for me, inwardly, it's reminder that Christ's Spirit lives in me, and desires to work through me, if I will submit to Him and follow. In my everyday life, it's pretty easy to forget that I have the privilege of having the Comforter with me in all situations. It's easy to treat my body as if there was no holy purpose to be fulfilled. Holy communion is a way to re-focus my thoughts to the communion I can enjoy everyday with His Spirit.

My experience in life has shown me that God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit are a reality at work in my world. They are at work, regardless of whether I choose to acknowledge them. For a long time I really struggled with reconciling the actions of church members to the teachings they supposedly followed. If people were following Christ, why did they act the way they did? If Christ's power was unlimited and mighty to change us, why weren't they better people? All the while I was struggling with this, He was at work in me, showing me my own role in the struggle. Here's what I learned. God wants a relationship with me. That statement in itself totally baffles me some days. I'm so amazed that the Creator desires to know me, and to show Himself to me. Me, of all people, of all things.

So here's the thing, He wants a relationship with me, not just obedience. A relationship takes effort on my part. It's not just a matter of me calling myself a Christian, and then He transforms my behavior to be saintly. It takes effort on my part to choose that behavior, but beyond that and more importantly, to choose the relationship everyday. This was what had been confusing me for so long. I was disappointed with all these "Christians" I knew because they weren't exhibiting the behavior that I thought should be evidence of their faith. The truth of the matter is that God does not magically change our behavior. Why? because He doesn't just want obedience. He wants relationship. If He wanted obedience, He could very easily get it by simply increasing the consequences of disobedience. Lightning bolts come to mind. So the effort is not solely with Him. It is not up to Him entirely to change us. It is up to us to choose to change. This is what creates the relationship. It's the development of change in our lives.

I think of my relationship with Joseph as an analogy to help explain my relationship with the Father. One of things that is so deeply satisfying about our relationship is to know that we've come through something together; that we have history together. That he is different for knowing me, and I'm different for knowing him. It gives a confidence for facing the future. It emboldens me to believe that we can make it through any other struggle in our lives, because we have made it through struggles in the past. And this is the part that is so deliciously ironic... if there were no struggles, no arguments, no personality flaws, the journey would be dull. There'd be no excitement to our marriage. This relationship is not made better by constant perfection. The joy of relationship is being witness to growth - in ourselves, and in the other person. If Joseph and I never argued, and everything was Norman Rockwell perfect every single day, we'd be bored out of our minds. What happens when you're bored? you look for other passions to excite you and make you feel alive. So the struggle is as necessary to the relationship as the times of happiness.

Just like my relationship with Joseph, I feel a confidence, a belief, in my relationship with God. I know that He will be there to face struggles in the future, because I can see that He's been there in the past. I can see areas in my life that I'm different in because I know Him. I'm not talking about the rules of religion here - no drinking, smoking, drugs, etc. I'm talking about the aspects of my personality that are becoming more like Him becase we're in relationship together. Does that mean that I act like Him completely? Wow. No. In fact there are probably some days where a person would doubt my beliefs based on my actions. Those are the struggles. However, He's committed to "struggling" it out with me. Just like my relationship with Joseph, I choose to change, to follow Him, because I love Him, and His happiness is important to me. My experience in this relationship with God is what produces my continued faith in Him. I have found His claims, His promises to be true, and it incites me to follow further, go deeper. He has promised to be found by any who would seek Him. I know that it's true, because He reveals Himself to even me. And I love the way He chooses to reveal Himself - ever creative, and always with a fresh wind. He truly is the Creator.

"You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13

I wish you joy in your journey of seeking.